Hit Counter

Content View Hits : 11855000

Polls

What do you think of our website?
 

CI Features

 

CI News

 

Customers are Idiots

Customers are idiots!

 



(The last one is classic, hope you're good:)

Actual  call centre conversations  !!!!!

Customer:      "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator:      "Where did you get that number from,  sir?".
Customer:     "It was on the door  to the Travel Centre".
Operator:      "Sir, they are our opening  hours".  


Samsung  Electronics
Caller:          "Can you  give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator:      "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who  you are talking about".
Caller:           "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator:      "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".


RAC  Motoring Services
Caller:           "Does your European  Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in  Australia ?"
Operator:       " Doesn't the product give you a  clue?"


Caller (enquiring about  legal requirements while travelling in France ):
"If Iregister my car in France , do I have to  change the steering wheel to the other side of the  car?"


Directory  Enquiries
Caller:                "I'd  like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff  please".
Operator:           "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling  correct?"
Caller:                "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell  off".


Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator:         "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller:              "Yes. That's what it says  on the label; Woven in Scotland ".


On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box  told a worried operator: "I  haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to  write the number on".


Tech  Support:      "I need you to  right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer:              "OK".
Tech  Support:      "Did you get a pop-up  menu?".
Customer:              "No".
Tech Support:       "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer:              "No".
Tech Support:      "OK,  sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this  point?".
Customer:             "Sure. You  told me to write 'click' and I wrote  'click'".


Tech  Support:      "OK. In the  bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the  'OK' button displayed?"
Customer:               "Wow. How  can you see my screen from there?"

Caller:   "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I  have just realised that I need it.   If  I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".


There's always one.  This has got to be one of the funniest things
in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not
fired This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which
was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
department. Needless to  say the Help Desk employee was fired;
however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for  "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I  know why they record these conversations!):

Operator:         "Ridge  Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller:               "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator:          "What sort of trouble??"
Caller:               "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went  away."
Operator:         "Went away?"
Caller:               "They disappeared."
Operator:          "Hmm So what does your screen  look like now?"
Caller:               "Nothing."
Operator:          "Nothing??"
Caller:               "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator:         "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller:               "How do I tell?"
Operator:          "Can you see the C: prompt on the  screen??"
Caller:                "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator:          "Never mind, can you move your  cursor around the screen?"
Caller:               "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator:         "Does your monitor have a power indicator?

Caller:               "What's a monitor?"
Operator:          "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller:                "I don't know."
Operator:          "Well,  then look on the back of the monitor
and find where  the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller:               "Yes, I think so."
Operator:          "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
Caller:               "Yes,  it is."
Operator:         "When  you were behind the monitor, did you
notice that there  were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller:                "No."
Operator:           "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller:                 "Okay, here it is."
Operator:           "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's  plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller:                "I can't reach."
Operator:           "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller:                "No."
Operator:           "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller:                "Oh,  it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator:           "Dark??"
Caller:                "Yes - the office light is  off, and the only light I have is coming in from the  window. "
Operator:            "Well, turn on the office light  then."
Caller:                "I can't."
Operator:           "No? Why not??"
Caller:                "Because  there's a power failure.."
Operator:           "A  power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got  it licked now. Do  you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?

Caller:                 "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator:            "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just   like it was  when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller:                 "Really?  Is it that bad?"
Operator:             "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller:                   "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator:             "Tell them you're too ###*!  stupid to own a computer.

 

 

 

facebook_logo

 

Who's Online

We have 324 guests online

Newsflash

donate long teal

 

button oval red md wht

Parish contact
information

 

Accord

 

webcam

 

syndo1xxsmall

 

Covid

 

baptism dates

 

Diary dates

 

Standing Orders

 
alt
 alt
 
 

LLTCA

 

WHO? WHAT? WHERE?


Funeral Directors

HKL Banbridge Chronicle Ad small web

Quinn Bros Funeral Services logo 418x128

McAlinden Murtagh newsflash

j mclearnon.

Nesbitt Memorials web ad

 Lillie1

 

 

globeanim2Care for our Common Home

 

Laudato Si

 
Designed and developed by Getonline